a friend sent me these helpful exercises to ready for the experience of mammography:

many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry.
by taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the -*test*-('") and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

exercise one- open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in the door. shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. hold that position for five seconds. repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough. and don't forget to repeat the other side, girls.

exercise two- visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. take off all of your clothes and lie comfortably one the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. ask of friend or loved one to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. turn over and repeat with the other breast.

exercise three- freeze two metal bookends overnight. strip to the waist. invite a stranger into the room. press the bookends against one of your breasts. smash the bookends together as hard as you can. set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!


i can hardly wait to try this myself!
i'm wondering if there's handy hints for gynecological exams...

Now is a moment when I'm happy I don't have breasts... not sure I like my balls checked by other person though... (unless in other circumstances )

Oh and Adrian.. just picture squash plus balls

adrian, do doctors give men "-*test*-('")ogramms"???
i know that they examine them by hand, but...well, just curious is all.

the friend who sent this to me happens to be a man and i replied by saying that doctors now recommend the same -*test*-('") for examining men's -*test*-('")es (at the time i was making this up. ) just to get his goat for sending it to me.