Someone did something to you in the past, something really bad. You swore that you would never forget what happened. You can forgive, yes, it's hard and you try, but forget.. never. Those feelings don't ever change that you have about a person.


Yet, after a few years you find that the feelings CAN change. You get older, and apparently you mellow out a little. You don't think as strongly anymore on certain things, and you are actually able to TRULY forgive what a person did. Sometimes that takes years, but.. from my own experience, it DOES happen.


However, there ARE cases where forgiving doesn't even come into view, and forgetting.. oh hell no. The offense is simply too harsh.


Define what you believe is hate, and do you hate, have you hated? Why would you describe that as hate? When would you hate someone, and .. would hate ever mellow down? Is hate truly an emotion or is it really something else that is lying underneath; anger, hurt?

I don’t think one can ever truly forget. I have come to the point of my father being a stranger to me, happily so, but I can never forget what he did to my sister even if I no longer hold any hatred towards him. That act of betrayal is something that will never slip from my mind, as it shows just what sort of person he is.

Forgetting is irrelevant, the real question is: can you forgive somebody who did something horrible? (actually the nice point about not-forgetting is that you didn't really forgive somebody and you keep "reminding" yourself and most likely to that person that he/she is in moral debt to you).

As for myself I treat forgiveness as a thing that I need to do for myself and for my peace of mind, there's no need to dwell into the past. Learning from an experience is one thing, continuing to hate is totally another (it's not always easy, but it matters if you want to do it)

It also depends on what the "horrible (un)forgiven act" is.